I had a strange dream this week that I’ve been reflecting on since. I was at a Catholic church, at some sort of non-religious event. My friend showed up topless. A churchgoer asked her to cover up, and I jumped to her defense. “They’re just nipples, we all have them!” I argued, only to be met with silent stares. I realized that I was surrounded by people with much different beliefs, and my appeals weren’t going to get me anywhere.

Living in the Midwest USA, I am well acquainted with the sinking feeling of rejected notions. Being trans, leftist, and neurodivergent already sets me apart, especially when I venture outside of the city limits. But even within left-leaning spaces, I’m often forced to confront that my beliefs differ radically from the people around me.

Just like in my dream, I believe that people with breasts should be able to go topless in public. I also want desegregated bathrooms, or at least menstrual product disposal bins in men’s stalls. I don’t think sex is a taboo topic. I’d be content to throw my phone in a lake. I want to have conversations about polyamorous marriage. And I long for the day Americans realize that polarizing rhetoric only distracts us from the much greater evils of global corporations. I believe unity is the only way forward.

Yet I sit here exhausted, wondering if speaking up is worth risking rejection. While having one’s beliefs challenged is important for growth, too much friction can be alienating. I want to make sense to other people, and to check that I have a healthy sense of reality. I’m afraid of losing community.

At some point, I want to try moving to a different city. I’d probably fit in better in the Pacific Northwest, or even Chicago. I think travelling to other countries could help me put my beliefs into perspective, too. But do I really have to flee my hometown to find the shared reality I’m looking for? Is “fitting in” the goal I really want to work towards?

Instead, I’m hoping that my ideas aren't so radical after all, and that speaking my mind will help me find the others. Maybe they’ve been afraid to share their ideas, too. Maybe, if I go first, it will give other people permission to speak. And just maybe, I’ll be pleasantly surprised by what they have to say.